Merry Christmas from Preston

I attended Preston Christmas lights switch on for approximately 7 minutes.

After successfully navigating my way down Fishergate Street; past the teenage chavs stood smoking outside McDonalds, through a couple’s domestic and around some drunks sat outside a betting shop, I managed to find a family who seem approachable enough to ask what time the lights were coming on. After been told that they “didn’t have a f**king clue” I then approached an event steward who was almost as helpful.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard of any of the acts, because I haven’t” he commented has he sheepishly presented me with a laminated copy of the events line-up “and the hosts, Glen and Lorna, they sound like someone’s next door neighbors to me”.

With that I bid farewell to the Christmas lights switch on and promised myself, never, ever, ever again.